Saturday, September 22, 2007

R.I.P.



They Say It Can't Be Done
with Jake Frank
hear
think2ahead.com

To listen to Ray Edwards grill me about what the heck I saw in Liz Boswell...
listen
http://invisiblebranding.com/
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1 comment:

Ben Mack said...

CHECKHOV’S GUN, OR LIZ BOSWELL MUST DIE

BY THOMAS BRENNAN
BASED ON THE CHARACTER BY BEN MACK

LIZ: SO WHY’D YOU TAKE ME HERE?

LLOYD: IT’S THE BEST TEA IN TOWN.

LIZ: WHY’S THAT?

LLOYD: WHERE ELSE ARE YOU GONNA GET BLACK TEAS, GREEN TEAS, RED TEAS, HERBALS ALL TOGETHER LIKE THAT? YOU CAN MIX ‘N MATCH ‘EM TOO.

LIZ: I’LL CHOOSE MY TEA IN A SECOND. I NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING FIRST, LLOYD.

LLOYD: WHAT’S THAT, LIZ?

LIZ: ARE YOU OKAY SINCE…

LLOYD: SINCE?

LIZ: SINCE I TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR FATHER?

LLOYD: LET’S NOT GET INTO IT HERE, LIZ. WE’RE IN PUBLIC.

LIZ: NO, LLOYD. YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE’VE BEEN GOING OUT NOW FOR HOW LONG, AND YOU STILL DON’T TRUST ME.

LLOYD: IT’S NOT ABOUT TRUST, LIZ. YOU REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU AT THE COMMON GROUND? YOU REMEMBER THE CUSTARD?

LIZ: NO PANGEA.

LLOYD: EXACTLY. WASN’T THAT CUSTARD THE BEST YOU EVER HAD?

LIZ: YOU SEDUCED ME INTO IT. I CAN STILL FEEL IT.

LLOYD: YOU DIDN’T GAIN A POUND.

LIZ: THE WHOLE MEAL WAS DELICIOUS, LLOYD. THE SALAD WAS CRISP AND HOMEGROWN, THE SOUP CREAMY AND RICH. AND HOW’D THEY DO THAT WITH THOSE PEPPERS, STUFFIN’ EM LIKE THAT? SO GOOD, LLOYD. I CAN TASTE IT ALL NOW LIKE I WERE BACK THERE.

LLOYD: THE PLACE MIGHT CLOSE.

LIZ: THE COMMON GROUND? IT’S BEEN THERE FOR DECADES. THE PEOPLE WON’T LET IT SLIP AWAY.

LLOYD: A LOT OF THINGS SLIP AWAY.

LIZ: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

LLOYD: YOU GONNA ORDER TEA? TRY LAPSANG SOUCHONG – IT’S SMOKY.

LIZ: LLOYD.

LLOYD: IT’S CHINESE. FORGOT WHAT PROVINCE, THOUGH.

LIZ: LLOYD!

LLOYD: WHAT?

LIZ: YOUR FATHER.

LLOYD: HE WON’T COME BETWEEN US ANYMORE. LOOK, IT’S DONE.

LIZ: WHAT’S DONE?

LLOYD: YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT CHEKHOV’S GUN?

LIZ: SORT OF.

LLOYD: IF THE GUN IS BROUGHT TO THE SCENE, IT HAS TO GO OFF.

LIZ: LLOYD. WHAT’S THAT – IN YOUR BAG?

LLOYD: THAT’S THE GUN.

LIZ: WHY DID YOU BRING A GUN HERE, LLOYD? WHAT’S GOING ON?

LLOYD: IT CAN MAKE GOOD DOUGHNUT HOLES. I’VE SEEN IT.

LIZ: PEOPLE DON’T JUST CARRY GUNS AROUND WHEN THEY GO OUT TO EAT.

LLOYD: CLEARLY YOU’VE NEVER BEEN SOUTH OF THE BORDER.

LIZ: SOUTH OF THE BORDER! YOU’RE SOUTH OF THE BORDER, LLOYD!

LLOYD: DON’T YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I BROUGHT IT?

LIZ: TO THE TWILIGHT TEA LOUNGE?

LLOYD: I ALMOST TALKED MYSELF OUT OF IT.

LIZ: OUT OF WHAT?

LLOYD: OUT OF USING IT.

LIZ: WHAT WOULD YOU USE IT FOR, LLOYD? DOUGHNUT HOLES!

LLOYD: MY FATHER’S GONE NOW.

LIZ: YOU MEAN DEAD! YOU SHOT HIM!

LLOYD: NOT SO LOUD. THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND.

LIZ: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO BROUGHT THE GUN.

LLOYD: IT’S CHEKHOV’S. HE LOANED IT TO ME, FOR A PRICE.

LIZ: I NEVER HEARD YOU MENTION THIS CHEKHOV GUY BEFORE.

LLOYD: ARE YOU SCARED, LIZ?

LIZ: YES.

LLOYD: SO AM I.

LIZ: THEN WHY DON’T YOU GET RID OF THE GUN?

LLOYD: IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW. I BROUGHT IT. IT HAS TO GO OFF.

LIZ: RIGHT HERE? YOU’LL SCARE THESE PEOPLE TO DEATH.

LLOYD: THAT’S SORT OF THE IDEA.

LIZ: SCARING PEOPLE?

LLOYD: NO – DEATH.

LIZ: WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU?

LLOYD: YOU LIKE DOUGHNUTS, RIGHT LIZ?

LIZ: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

LLOYD: IT’S ALREADY DONE. I’VE SEEN IT HAPPEN.

LIZ: WE CAN GET YOU HELP, IF WE GO RIGHT NOW. I PROMISE I WON’T LEAVE YOU. COME ON. LET’S GO.

LLOYD: YOU HAVEN’T ORDERED TEA YET.

LIZ: FORGET THE TEA. WE NEED TO GET YOU HELP.

LLOYD: I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

LIZ: YES, YOU ARE. NOW LET’S GO.

LLOYD: SIT DOWN, LIZ.

LIZ: LLOYD. WHY ARE YOU POINTING THAT GUN AT YOUR STOMACH?

LLOYD: IT’S A FNORD.

LIZ: YOU GOT RID OF YOUR FATHER. NOW YOU WANT TO DIE TOO? HERE AT THE TEA LOUNGE? WHAT WILL I TELL PEOPLE WHEN THEY COME SCREAMING, LLOYD? WHAT WILL I TELL THEM?

LLOYD: I NEVER SAID I WAS DOING IT RIGHT NOW.

LIZ: THEN WHEN, LLOYD?

LLOYD: SOON.

LIZ: I’LL BE RIGHT BACK. I’M GONNA ORDER TEA.

LLOYD: DON’T DO IT, LIZ. YOU’LL RUIN EVERYTHING.

LIZ: RUIN WHAT?

LLOYD: THE PERFECT ENDING. IT’S ALL PLANNED OUT. IT’S JUST LIKE THE CUSTARD. YOU’RE READY FOR THE CUSTARD, AREN’T YOU? DON’T SHAKE YOUR HEAD LIKE THAT, WITH THAT LOOK. I KNOW YOU LIKE CUSTARD.

LIZ: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

LLOYD: DON’T WORRY. I’VE BEEN WORKING OUT YOUR PART FOR DAYS NOW. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOUR PART IS?

LIZ: WHAT’S MY PART, LLOYD?

LLOYD: YOU’RE GOING TO PULL THE TRIGGER. YOU’RE GOING TO SHOOT ME HERE. YOU FEEL THAT. RIGHT THERE IN THE GUT. IT’LL BE UNDER THE TABLE. THEN YOU’RE GOING TO USE THE SECOND BULLET – THERE ARE THREE – AND YOU’RE GOING TO PUT IT TO MY HEART. YOU FEEL THAT. THUMP-THUMP. THEN I’M DEAD.

LIZ: WHAT ABOUT THE THIRD BULLET, LLOYD?

LLOYD: UNDER YOUR CHIN – LIKE THIS.

LIZ: LLOYD! STOP IT! NOT NOW! TAKE IT OFF MY CHIN! TAKE IT OFF!

LLOYD: JUST LIKE THAT. GOOD. BUT NO CRYING – NOT LIKE THAT. DON’T GET WEEPY. YOU NEED TO SMILE. YOU HAVE A GREAT SMILE.

LIZ: TAKE IT OFF, LLOYD. PLEASE.

LLOYD: RELAX. WE HAVEN’T HAD TEA YET.

LIZ: I DON’T WANT ANY TEA!

LLOYD: YOU WANT GREEN OR BLACK? HOW ‘BOUT RED? YOU ALWAYS LOOKED GOOD IN RED.

LIZ: WHAT ABOUT THE COMMON GROUND? YOU WANTED TO SAVE IT. WE STILL CAN.

LLOYD: ONLY THE PEOPLE CAN DO THAT NOW. THEY HAVE TO WANT THE CUSTARD. YOU THINK THEY’LL WANT THE CUSTARD? LIZ?

LIZ: THEY’LL WANT THE CUSTARD.

LLOYD: I KNOW THEY WILL. HEY – WHAT’S THE MATTER NOW? YOU’RE TREMBLING.

LIZ: WHAT DO YOU THINK DEATH IS LIKE, LLOYD?

LLOYD: BETTER THAN HERE.

LIZ: WHAT ABOUT DYING? IT’LL HURT, A LOT.

LLOYD: IT’LL BE THE BEST PAIN OF YOUR LIFE, LIZ – THE LAST PAIN. IT’LL BE SWEET, LIKE THE CUSTARD; IT’LL BE A GOOD FINISH.

LIZ: WHEN DID YOU GET THE IDEA, LLOYD, THAT YOU WANTED ALL OF US TO DIE? YOU. ME. YOUR FATHER.

LLOYD: YOU AND I WILL BE TOGETHER.

LIZ: AND YOUR FATHER?

LLOYD: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT. HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO GO SO SOON. BUT HE CAN’T KEEP US APART ANYMORE.

LIZ: I THINK HE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT ME.

LLOYD: PROTECT YOU? MY FATHER? HE WAS JEALOUS.

LIZ: OF YOU?

LLOYD: NO – OF YOU.

LIZ: WHY?

LLOYD: BECAUSE YOU PICKED ME, AND I’M TEN TIMES THE MAN HE WAS.

LIZ: ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF?

LLOYD: IT’S ALMOST TIME, LIZ. YOU REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU, UNDER THE CHIN?

LIZ: YES, LLOYD.

LLOYD: A FEW MINUTES, MAYBE LESS.

LIZ: CAN I SEE IT, LLOYD, CHEKHOV’S GUN?

LLOYD: DON’T GO WASTING BULLETS NOW.

LIZ: LLOYD JENKINS. DON’T YOU THINK I WANT IT TO BE PERFECT? REMEMBER THE CUSTARD?

LLOYD: HERE IT IS. CAREFUL NOW. IT’S HEAVY.

LIZ: THE CUSTARD’S ALWAYS HEAVY, LLOYD.

[LIZ FIRES THE GUN ON HERSELF, SCENE ENDS]

September 23, 2007 at 3:44 AM

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